Before going further, however, I'd like to thank certain Mets fans for being man enough to answer the post-loss telephone call. Can't say the same for all the Mets fans I know, however. With apologies to the great Enrique Iglesisas...Baby you can run, baby you can hide, but you can't escape my hate...
Now, let's get down to bidness. Ah, where to begin?????
This weekend Fox Searchlight fittingly released the movie Choke. As the black dude in jail said in the first Harold & Kumar, "The universe tends to unfold as it should..." And yes, you dreadful Mets fans - the universe has reminded you again that your team sucks. They've taken the art of choking to new levels, showing you guys that you support a bunch of LOSERS.
The game itself was interesting. Ollie Perez didn't blow up, but the same problems struck again - they didn't score runs (5 TOTAL over the weekend, which is pathetic), and the Pen, the same one I told you would be hurt by losing Wagner (just wait till I find those emails), blew it again and again and again down the stretch. Lord, the fans were really out of it, expecting the loss the whole time. Even with Beltran's HR, the crowd reaction was more of a "oh thank god" not a "yeah! now let's finish them off!" type thing. Brimming with confidence, eh...Go Met Sox Nation! When Wes Helms, the former Brave, hit the go-ahead HR - the stadium didn't implode as I expected it to. Mets fans had been abused so much, they'd come to expect it. Ouch...that's the mark of a true loser, someone who has let the setbacks defeat them before it's all over. Yes, I think the Mets may have really hurt the team for quite some time. This was a soul-crushing one.
Now, let's get down to bidness. Ah, where to begin?????
This weekend Fox Searchlight fittingly released the movie Choke. As the black dude in jail said in the first Harold & Kumar, "The universe tends to unfold as it should..." And yes, you dreadful Mets fans - the universe has reminded you again that your team sucks. They've taken the art of choking to new levels, showing you guys that you support a bunch of LOSERS.
The game itself was interesting. Ollie Perez didn't blow up, but the same problems struck again - they didn't score runs (5 TOTAL over the weekend, which is pathetic), and the Pen, the same one I told you would be hurt by losing Wagner (just wait till I find those emails), blew it again and again and again down the stretch. Lord, the fans were really out of it, expecting the loss the whole time. Even with Beltran's HR, the crowd reaction was more of a "oh thank god" not a "yeah! now let's finish them off!" type thing. Brimming with confidence, eh...Go Met Sox Nation! When Wes Helms, the former Brave, hit the go-ahead HR - the stadium didn't implode as I expected it to. Mets fans had been abused so much, they'd come to expect it. Ouch...that's the mark of a true loser, someone who has let the setbacks defeat them before it's all over. Yes, I think the Mets may have really hurt the team for quite some time. This was a soul-crushing one.
Endy with another great catch that will be nothing more than a footnote for the history books. BTW, you should watch the Braun HR that won it for the Brew Crew; it's electrifying, one of those great sports moments that gives you a chill even if you aren't a fan.
But the icing on it all? The post-game stadium closing ceremony. Talk about an 800-lb gorilla in the room. Woo-hoo, go Mets' glorious past! Please - let's re-live the long-gone glory years and try to forget that, just moments earlier and for the 3rd year in a row, we choked big time!
Given that it was the last game at Shea and all, though, let's re-visit some of my favorite Shea memories, shall we?
2006
This was like the Crane Kick (ed: "Butterfly Kick?" wtf was I smoking when I typed this?) at the end of The Karate Kid, except it was a shot to the face of Carlos Beltran and all the Mets fans in the back were members of the Cobra Kai. Just utter shock.
2007
Yup, there's that look again. Like father, like son...
2008
2008
This is the best part about baseball, passing down generations of tradition. But I really do feel for this kid. It's bad enough being the bastard child of Carrot Top. But to be raised a Mets fan? Talk about adding insult to injury...
It's not all about the losers, though. The winners - the Milwaukee Brewers - had their fair share of fun too. Look at Prince Fielder, who was so overjoyed at the victory, he decided to go film a gay porno afterwards:
At a time like this, I wonder what someone like Chipper Jones, the 2008 NL batting champion and reigning King of Shea Stadium, thinks of the Hindenburg explosions that were the 2007 and 2008 New York Mets. Tell us, Chipper - what did you think of the Mets?
Lastly, just for the sake of completeness: ESPN's Playoff Perctange for the 2008 New York Mets now reads "0.0%"
Mets Fans...I hope you saved the receipt on those playoff tickets!
*drops mic*
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