[life] Gym etiquette

I like going to the gym. I like going because 1) it's something to do that won't leave me in bed until 2pm on a Sunday, 2) it keeps me in shape (well, a shape) and 3) the ratio of good-looking women to not good-looking women is considerably higher than in real life. Now the first two are your standard, obvious reasons. The 3rd reason, though, complicates things considerably. Now when I go work out, I am singularly focused - I put on my headphones and crank up the beats, break out a sweat, and sneak subtle glances at the gyrating, sweaty bodies in the yoga class in front of me. The key to this, of course, is that you can't be eyeing them up and down openly - gentlemen, you need to use reflective surfaces. That's actually the key to ogling, no matter what the situation (save for a strip club). So when you go to work out, make sure you pay attention to those reflexive glances.

Now, for you steroid munchers out there...yeah, you know who you are. Relax with the grunting. Wear a little more clothing - I'd like to leave without the silouhette of your man-parts burned into my corneas. And lastly, please, if you insist on using those freakish 100lb dumbbells, please put them back when you are finished; I can't risk the chance that the well-toned, tan blonde I was mirror-ogling might catch me having to roll your weights out of the way.