[mlb] Anger rising...

The Braves, the bane of my existence, just flat out suck. They suck in a historic fashion. Never before has a team done so well peripherally and sucked so badly when it counts, i.e. close games, especiall close road games. It's almost as if it is in our DNA now. So what's causing this team, which has the 2nd best ERA in the NL and a strong offense, to suck so much? Let me count the ways...

1) The bullpen - so far, we've lost our closer (Soriano) and our best setup man from last year (Moylan). That's not a light loss. I know some of you out there who are reading don't know much about any teams without the ol' "NY" logo on their hat, so allow me to analogize (don't worry, baby, I'll be gentle). This is akin to losing Mo and Joba or Wagner and Sanchez. It's not easy to account for. So now we have Mike Gonzalez back and that's something. But the team may have let the atrocious 1-run record seep into its pores at this point. Now, it's a self-defeating prophecy. Up 1, on the road, in the 8th or 9th, I have ZERO confidence we can win. ZERO. I turn off the game tracker when I'm at work around this team because the outcome is already a given. That kind of team cannot win the division, let alone the WS.

2) The injuries - I touched on this with the bullpen, but the injuries are really just unreal. Smoltz? Done. Moylan? Done. Soriano? Possibly done. And then the significant injuries - Kotsay, Glavine, Diaz, Prado and yes, Bitch Tits McGee...er...Hampton. It's practically unfair. We were hurt by injuries last year, so the Homeboys in the Front Office made a point to build our depth. And now our depth is non-existent. What the fuck is going on here? Somehow, Chipper Jones has managed to stay relatively healthy, so maybe if he hits .400 this won't suck as much. Ok, probably not.

3) The underperformers - Listen here, Frenchy, you stupid grinning piece of shit. This was supposed to be your year - even the statheads were on your bandwagon! The reliable Joe Sheehan even chose you as his breakout player this year and what do you do? Regress...badly. You're not even clutch anymore. I can't remember the last time I felt like your performance in the clutch offset your otherwise sucky hitting, which used to be the case much of the last 2.5 years. Now...nada. Fuck you Frenchy. Maybe you should have signed an extension when it was offered to you. Let me paint a picture for you: you beefed up so you could hit 40hrs and get a fat contract but that hasn't happened, so now you are pressing and it's getting even worse. And Tex? God, I loved you while you were raking, but I've never really felt like you were a Brave. If this thing completely falls apart before the ASB, I will personally drive your ass out of the ATL on July 31 because there is absolutely NO way you should still be on the team. Our farm would be the 2nd best in baseball if ol' Jonny boy didn't try to go for broke in his last year at the helm of this ship. Speaking of....

4) The management - Bobby, I love you, you are an institution, but sometimes change is good. Some of your old school management is great - will always remember the way you got tossed protecting JAIIIIIIIIIR JURRRRRRJENS at Shea - but other times, you rely on "your guys" too much. Sometimes you just need to bench a sucky player and not pitch a sucky reliever. And the overworking guys? How does everyone see this but you don't? Have you been hanging out with Dusty Baker? Did Joe Torre tell you about how great it feels to kill a reliever, like he did/does with Proctor? Stop that shit now Bobby. My patience wears thin, old man. Don't make me slap you...haha, just kidding, I know how you feel about that.

So there it is, I offer no solutions, just an explanation of the situation. The only solace is that despite all this, our team is still better off than the Mets. They are a team in disarray, though a winning streak might cure what ails them. Funny, you'd think we might be able to get one of those going when WE ARE PLAYING THE WORST TEAM IN BASEBALL AT HOME AND THEIR STARTER LEAVES AFTER 4. But no, why would that happen? Instead, we get injuries to Chipper and Yunel. S'naturally.

Fuck I hate baseball.